Vincent Van Gogh : Rough draft

Found in his pocket after his death, these two pages show sentences that Vincent had not kept for the letter he would eventually send to Theo: “ why, in my own work, my life is at stake, and my power of reasoning half-sank –well- but you don’t belong to men’s dealers as far as I know, and you can commit yourself, I think, really acting in a human way, and so what?”
That “so what?” is a true question . Vincent wonders and asks his brother about the link which has always united them .Will Theo abandon him?
He feels rejected and gulty: “ I feared- not really, though a little- I was an enemy to you as I was depending upon you”), and seems to give up: “I would like to write to you but I think it is useless”…and admits his failure: “ I think personal creation is useless in the end and having achieved something, would one do it again?”